day 4: 144 lbs

wow. day four and weighing in at 144. somehow i'm doubting that this is going to last. i'm betting that i'll check my weight tomorrow and it'll be something hideous in comparison.

i refused temptation last night. i turned down subway and chips. okay, so i gave in to a little bit of soy ice-cream, but the 1/4 cup i had was only 64 calories. so i did fantastic. i ate a small salad with a tablespoon of 40 calorie dressing. i did not eat all the dressing though, so i did really good overall.

i was really depressed yesterday when i had to try on dresses for prom. it was really sad. i wore a size 12. a 12 for heavens sake! my goal dress size is anywhere between 2 and 5. that would be amazing. that would also open up a lot of options. one of the dresses i wanted was so beautiful! it was crimson red faux silk (which ment that it was vegan!), with straps that went off the shoulders. it looked like a less poufy, dark, beautiful, gothic, indian princess gown. the skirt of the dress was slightly poufy, but only becuase i had to wear one of the pouf skirts under it. if i didn't, it would lay straight and flat, but the slight pouf made it amazing. i wanted it so bad. but it was an 8. never had i been so embaressed when the woman at the dress shop told me i was too fat wear it. i was MORTIFIED. it was hard to eat last night. i wanted to puke up everything. i wanted to fast. i wanted all my fat to be gone. but my mom was watching super clsoe last night after my subway refusal. grr.

i'm doing really good today. only a stick of gum today. i'll probably give into a 1/4 cup of soy ice-cream again because today was even more depressing. i don't think the boy i asked to prom will say yes.

:,(

~Annabella~